


Where you came from, I do not know (except that, I do)

by charstar782



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, College, Developing Relationship, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-05-11 20:59:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5641756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charstar782/pseuds/charstar782
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>CHANGED: Givin' it the old college try. Kara/Alex, they're not sisters but cousins in this story... but have still known each other since Kara's arrival on earth. Stayed in touch, on the other hand...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Kara woke up in a sweat, rolled all the way up in her blankets and practically falling off the edge of her bed. As soon as she had oriented herself to being in her room and not falling off a...ledge, she pulled herself back up onto the bed, fell back against the pillow and tried to brush her sweaty hair out of her face.

This was the third time. In two days! Once she had only been napping! What was happening to her. 

Her roommate, Rachel, gave a sudden, particularly loud snore which jerked Kara out of her thoughts and back to the quiet darkness of the room. Reminded her to breath. Told her that she was 19, and all of this was normal. Wasn’t it only two days ago that she had walked in on Rachel getting REALLY naked with that kid from down the hall? 

Surely sex dreams about the girl down the hall were nothing compared to her roommate being caught doing the dirty itself.

Even as she thought it, Kara blushed. Her face was already - she was fairly sure - a flaming red and hot as could be, she was impressed it could apparently do even better than that and become basically on fire.

Okay, forget about sleep then.

With a groan she immediately tried to muffle, Kara hauled herself haphazardly out of the blankets until her feet landed free on the floor. Yup, there were her fuzzy unicorn slippers, thankfully, right where she left them for once. She slid her feet into them and yanked on an over sized hoodie her cousin Clark had given her before trying not to let the door creak open or slam closed as she headed for the dorm bathroom.

*****

It had only been a few weeks since everyone had returned from winter break to college life. Classes didn’t start for two days, but most people were already back for extracurricular activities, just to see friends (party) or hadn’t left in the first place. Kara had been feeling a bit out of place in seeming like she was one of the only ones who had actually been sad to leave her family after freshman year winter break. 

Kara supposed she had never really been in place to begin with.

Why?

Well, there was the small fact of her being able to fly. To lift cars over her head. To shoot things like lasers out of her eyes. Did she mention she could fly?  
It had never been hidden from her, the fact that she was an alien. She knew why she had been sent to Earth, coming from Krypton with Kal-el, it turning out she wasn’t needed to protect him once she actually arrived anyway. Originally she had felt, while at the same time an overwhelming sense of loss, a feeling of being free. Free to choose her path in life. To not have to have the burden of protecting her cousin on her small twelve year old self. To maybe carry on the life of her parents and home world in a different sort of way.

It didn’t take her long to realize that this life she briefly imagined would never become a reality. After a few accidents in the house (one too many things catching fire or breaking) Kara didn’t feel free. If anything, she only felt more trapped in a place where she, even at twelve, was stronger and more powerful than every human in this strange new place. She had decided to stop using her powers once and for all, and resolved that maybe walking to school was better than flying, anyway. Having friends was better than being herself, wasn’t it? Not that she ended up with many friends in the end.

Except, there was always Alex. At least for the first summer after Kara first arrived on Earth.

*****

Alex had short brown hair cut into a bob with constantly out of place bangs, and always was wearing a smile on her face when she saw Kara over the fence. Kara's foster mother was Alex's aunt, and she and Kara's foster father had been living next door to Alex's mother and her daughter, and Kara had never felt luckier.  
Alex was loud and athletic, and Kara was shy and clumsy. Alex liked romantic comedies, but hated kissing scenes. Kara preferred dramas but was secretly fascinated with the way people on earth had such complex feelings for each other, despite their lack of superpowers...and with kissing. Sometimes, she wondered what it would be like to kiss Alex.

But then she would blush bright red and remember that they were only twelve and no one found the person they were in love with at twelve, and then Alex would ask her why she looked constipated and Kara would shove her (carefully) and they would go racing off to play basketball in the front yard. Alex always won, but Kara didn’t care. Laughing with Alex was enough.

Kara had only ever broken her no powers rule with Alex. Once, while they were out laying on blankets and eating popcorn and watching the star in Alex’s yard, Alex had sighed and then asked, “Wouldn’t it be cool to be able to touch them up there?” Kara had tipped her head to the side, bitten her lip and decided Alex was worth the risk.  
“Well, I can’t take you all the way up to touch them, but maybe part way…?” Kara had suggested with a hesitant shrug, and Alex had turned and looked at her and for some reason, asked no questions before saying, “Okay.”

Kara had jerked up and only looking back on it wondered if she had imagined Alex’s head moving towards hers, or the light flush on her cheeks when Kara grabbed her hand to pull her up, too. In the moment, it was too late, and then they were in the air, Alex’s jaw falling farther open in amazement as they went. From then on, some summer nights they would go flying together and to Kara, it was the best feeling on Earth.

And then Alex was gone, moved states away and never to be heard from again. She had promised Kara she’d call, or write, but neither ever happened and Kara's family had been reluctant to attend any family gatherings due to...well. Issues. Kara had done her best to forget that summer and everything that had passed with it.

Kara had gone on to date some boys in high school, but none for very long or very happily. Most were more interested in her blond hair or weirdly athletic body type, despite her inability to play sports, than her actual personality. She tried to brush it off as just teenage boy hormones, when in reality she was trying to brush off the fact that maybe some of the girls in the hallway were what really caught her eye. Really, did she need to add “gay” to list of things that already made her not fit in?

*****

But back to the present. Kara rubbed her blurry eyes and internally sighed at her failures in high school as she sat sleepily in a bathroom stall. Literally, she huffed to herself as the toilet flushed, she obviously failed on the not gay part.

Because wow, that dream though. And the fact that it was the third of its kind since she’d arrived back at school on Saturday and it was only Sunday night.  
Kara had first spotted the girl on Saturday morning, when she arrived back on campus with her parents to wish her goodbye. She had only seen her briefly, outside in front of their dorm as she chatted with some girls Kara recognized from her floor. One second Kara was walking to her room, the next she was tripping over a curb as she had glanced over just as the girl tipped back her head to laugh and the sun had hit her hair just so…

And then she was on the ground, books from the bookstore scattered everywhere and glasses down her nose. Someone behind her had gasped and suddenly the girl was beside her, hastening to help pick up her things while Kara had rushed to say no, not to worry about it, it happened all the time, as she kept her eyes on the ground.  
Then she had run away, all but fleeing the scene as she walked as fast as was humanly appropriate up to her room and slammed the door before flopping onto her bed and squishing her face in her pillow. The girl must have been a transfer or a mid-year start, and that was why Kara hadn’t seen her on campus before. Let alone near her dorm, or on her floor...because she absolutely would’ve noticed. She had seen her again in the dining hall, coming in again with the same girls Kara assumed must be her roommates, but even if the girl had started to come towards her, Kara high tailed it to the door, luckily having just finished her meal as she girl was arriving.

Groaning again, Kara started vigorously washing her hands as if to erase any germs as well as the dream along with it when the door opened and she heard a cautious voice ask, “Kara?”

No way Jose.

Forgetting about the water that was running and the soap dripping down her hands, Kara turned her face slowly to the person standing in doorway that was now open to the hall. 

In all five feet not that many inches of her height, there stood the one person she had been trying to forget since she was twelve years old. The person she’d seen twice on campus but realized she’d never seen their face clearly.

The person who she’d just finished having a very explicit dream about and was only now just realizing she couldn’t remember ever seeing the person’s face in said dream.  
Water suddenly hit her in the face and Kara spluttered; she had unintentionally leaned one hand on the facet to hold herself steady. As she girl rushed toward her to turn it off and simultaneously hand her a paper towel, her smiling face came into clear view and Kara could only stand there, red as ever and feeling her bed head beneath the water now covering her hair.

“Alex??”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! Sorry if it's shorter than expected (and with errors, I'll proof again tomorrow), I wanted to get something out to you guys before the week started, because really - who doesn't need something to cheer them up before Monday morning. ;)

Once Kara had gained control of her gaping (just a little bit) and Alex had been able to stop smiling long enough to respond, she threw herself into Kara’s arms for a hug. 

“I can’t believe this! How are you! How are you here!” Alex rushed out as she squeezed Kara tightly. 

Kara had no words as she soundlessly hugged Alex back. Too many thoughts rushed through her head, not the least of which was that Alex’s shirt was also quickly getting wet from Kara’s current state of being soaked and that, oh god, okay, time to pull away - 

“I...just...how, where are...why are you here?” she tried not to sound too accusatory as she pulled back in a rush, her face boiling but her chest full. From the brief look of hurt she thought she spied on Alex’s face, Kara wasn’t sure she entirely succeeded. 

“I just transferred. This is my first semester. Do you - are you really on this floor too? What are the chances!” If she had been bothered by Kara’s lack of enthusiasm, Kara couldn’t be sure as Alex’s original smile came back into place and she set her hands on her hips. Kara tried to ignore the feelings of shame and hurt that was settling into her gut. How. How after all this time - what are the chances?? That’s all Alex had to say? When Kara was practically crawling out of her skin upon seeing her for the first time in six years?

“Yeah...I know, weird right?” was what came out of her mouth, though. She faced Alex with an expression of amusement and discomfort. “It’s been forever.” 

“I know,” Alex’s voice softened upon hearing Kara’s response and seeing her face. She still looked similar to twelve year old Alex, hair out of place but now in almost a glamorous way; her casual flannel button down hung loose on her frame over her jeans. She even smelled the same, good god, like something sweet but soft…Kara tried not to crumble as all of her senses overwhelmed her, reminding her yet again of just of who was standing in front of her. "I always wished you were at one of the few holidays things my mom and I went to...but you never were."

“Yeah...I know.” Kara replied, shrugging uncomfortable. She knew (felt like she knew) it was her fault that her parents had stopped going to family gatherings. She shook her head to clear the thought as Alex pushed on.

"We should catch up! Maybe tomorrow?” Alex asked enthusiastically.

Kara nodded, bobbing her head in what she hoped looked like enthusiasm. “I have class at 9 but I’m free for lunch? Or coffee, or whatever…?”

“Lunch sounds great, do you want to meet at that cafe just next to the science building?” Alex offered, shaking an escaping strand of hair out of her eyes as she reached over towards her toothbrush and paste Kara hadn’t noticed earlier. The confidence with which Alex made the suggestion only made Kara feel worse. Alex had only been on campus for a few days and yet she was better at asking Kara to lunch than Kara herself who had been there for months. The urge to flee from more sudden, impending social embarrassment was suddenly overwhelming.

“Great, sounds good! I’ll see you then!” Kara burst out loudly before dashing back to her room, leaving Alex without chancing another glance back at her.

It was barely a moment later when she was tucked under the covers that she noticed that in her haste she’d left the dorm room door open. With a jolt of alarm Kara realized that Alex still had one hand in motion to reach for the toothpaste while Kara had made her way past four doors, taken off her slippers and gotten into bed in the same second it had taken Alex to blink and realize Kara was gone. 

And, Kara groaned loudly and intentionally into her pillow this time, since when was using her x-ray vision without a passing thought a normal occurrence anymore?? 

Well fuck.

****

Alex turned just as she door was swinging shut on Kara’s retreating form. For a second she started to grimace in confusion before the familiar feeling of understanding all the weird phenomena that happened around Kara fell into place.

Back that summer, after the flying incident had gone over...rather remarkably well, Kara had now and then shown off (or, at least as Alex liked to think fondly of it) a few of her other abilities. Once it was daring Alex to play hide and go seek and if she could find her in under a minute Alex had to give her a dollar; Kara had found her in less than three seconds, in a box under a bed at LEAST a five minute walk from where she had been standing to count (that was less adorably impressive and more frustrating, as Alex was and continued to be competitive - the hurt had been eased by Kara buying her an ice cream and, well, that her best friend was an alien for crying out loud.) Another was blowing a breeze into a nearby garden in such a way that Alex, next door, was suddenly drenched in petals of all colors. Alex couldn’t remember feeling as happy as she had that summer.

Shaking herself out of the past, Alex finished reaching for the paste and began to brush her teeth vigorously. That was not how she had wanted their first real interaction in so long to occur. There had been plans for a dramatic run in, just happening to be in her favorite jeans and baseball shirt as they bumped into each other (less physically) in the on-campus coffee shop; she would offer to buy Kara a coffee, Kara would blush profusely as always but then acquiesce. They would go for a walk back across campus as the snow fell and Alex would suggest they meet again the next day - if Kara didn’t suggest it first.

This, however, was the second time she managed to cause some sort of Kara-disaster in the past twenty-four hours. Alex was not in top form...no matter how cute a flustered Kara was.

Alex paused in brushing and frowned, eyeing herself in the mirror. Made a face with the foam still lingering on her lips. Tried to shake off the feeling that Kara realizing she was here, that they were finally in the same place again after all this time, maybe wasn’t as wonderful for Kara as it was for Alex.

Well, too damn bad. Alex had been dreaming of this moment since she was twelve years old and looking back at a little supergirl in the distance, flying behind their car as it pulled away from their old home. 

If Kara couldn’t be wooed as planned, Alex was just going to have to find a different way to do it. 

With once last glance at herself, she set her mouth and with a firm nod of her head rinsed, spit and then flicked the light of the bathroom off as she headed back to bed.


	3. Chapter 3

Kara woke up to birds singing and her roommate snoring, and wondered if it had all been a dream.

Alex was here.

Even thinking it sounded ridiculous. 

She lay there for another minute, staying as still as possible and trying to let the pattern of Rachel’s breathing lull her back to sleep.

...as if that ever worked.

Getting up with a sigh, she rolled out of bed and fell promptly onto the floor. 

Feet tangled in blankets, laying on the ground and everything looking a little too sharp without her glasses, Kara couldn’t even bring herself to pick herself up until the snoring came to a halt and Rachel leaned over, inquiring what she was doing laying on top of her geology homework.

 

Who could focus on Russian lit on a day like today? Who could focus on Russian lit ever?? Why was she even in this Rao forsaken - 

Chill, Kara, be chill.

Having already broken two pencils and fidgeted with her glasses one too many times to be considered “chill,” Kara gave up and just tried to focus back on listening for any signs of Alex outside the room.

Someone tripping on the stairs.

The slam of the door to the restroom.

Slurping on soup.

Heels clicking.

And then…

“Hi, could I please get a large mocha with extra whipped cream?”

Kara let out a squeak and tried to refocus on what the professor was saying, as several of her classmates turned to stare. “Sorry,” Kara murmured as her cheeks started to burn.  
“...thank you!” 

KARA. FOCUS.

“Oops, sorry about that! Not sorry, you clumsy ass-”

“Kara?”

Kara had been trying to stifle her giggling at how little Alex had changed but jerked up suddenly at her name being whispered.

“God, Winn, you scared me,” Kara gasped, straightening her glasses and finally able to tune Alex out.

“Well, you were starting to scare me with your weird pencil snapping and focusy face when you CLEARLY weren’t listening,” Winn muttered to her as he slouched a little bit more in his chair so he could play whatever was his video game of the week on his phone.

Kara and Winn had been friends ever since they met at freshman orientation. Kara had been standing off to the side, still sometimes overwhelmed by all of the noise and sensations in large groups of people, especially if she was nervous. Winn had his nose in a game and had almost tripped over her, phone flying as he tried to sidestep her. Kara’s quick reflexes had saved his phone from impending doom, and the ensuing embarrassment on behalf of both parties had made them quick friends.

Freshmen nerds had to stick together, right?

It only became a matter of time before WInn’s obsession with comic books and superheroes caused Kara to feel compelled to tell him her secret. HE’d handled it well, “Best eight month early Christmas present EVER!” were Winn’s exact words, and Kara had only laughed and hugged him harder.

“Sorry, sorry,” Kara mumbled, trying to control the blush that was rising to her cheeks. This was ridiculous. Alex was practically a decade older at this point from when Kara last knew her. A completely different person even. A completely, totally, STRAIGHT person…??

“Oh my god,” Kara groaned quietly, snapping her final pencil so violently that the (luckily) eraser end of it shot out of her hand and into the face of a jock a few seats down. He flinched dramatically.

“What the f-”

“KARA, I’m so sorry, guess I just overshot that pencil toss,” Winn suddenly piped up loudly. “Such a klutz.”

“Yeah, well better watch your back brainiac,” the guy hissed as their professor called, “Winn…”

“I know so sorry, again,” Winn chuckled cheekily, then settled himself back against his seat as the professor gave a nod and turned away with a frown. “What the shit Kara??”

“Nothing! Nothing...just...Alex…” Kara started, but was interrupted as she heard a quiet laugh through several walls that Kara remembered all too well. “...is here.”

“She’s WHAT?” Winn yelped, and this time more than just a few people turned to stare.

“Winn. Kara. Out.”

 

“Who knew you could get kicked out of a college lecture,” Winn grumbled as he and Kara hauled their books and bags out into the hallway. 

“You’re the human here, how would I know?” Kara mumbled back, cheeks still aflame. “What am I going to do, Winn, I can’t eat lunch with her! What if I spill my soup? What if I drop my coffee? What if I breathe too loudly…?!” 

“Ookay, jumpy pants, it’s going to be fine,” Winn rolled his eyes but there was a fond look on his face as he listened to Kara ramble. “It’s been years! You’re both totally different now! You could both be-”

“Gay???” Kara burst out, throwing her head back and knocking her glasses askew as she rubbed a hand at her face. 

“OH my god Kara, no. But I guess, I mean, statistically….”

“NOT now Winn.” 

“Fine,” Winn muttered with a look that was usually reserved for small children being denied something they want. “I'm only saying what you're thinking, you know.”

“I know,” Kara relented, pausing to lean against the nearest wall with a sigh. “I just feel so stupid about it. This. ALL of this.”

“Kara,” Winn said more softly this time, stopping to rest his back against the same wall. “It's not stupid. First….well. First feelings are hard to get over.”

Kara gave up and slumped against the wall, eyes on the floor. "Yeah, I know. I mean, logically I know. Literally, in the now-it's-actually-happening sense though? I feel like an idiot. I don't want to even be feeling like this. It would probably creep her out epicly. Her family took me in and now I've become this super gay-for-your-niece nightmare of a daughter MYSELF, and-"

"Kara!" Winn pushed off the wall and faced her, reaching out to grab a hold of her arm. "Stop. Based on everything you ever had, never once did you two feel like family...in that way. Intense, inseparable best friends? Maybe. But not cousins.” He squished up his face as he stated the fact. And I’d be willing to bet...well, a lot, that she might feel the same way.”

“It’s not betting much if all you’re betting is that she MIGHT feel the same way,” Kara grumbled, but she couldn’t help but start to crack a smile to let Winn know that she appreciated his attempt at reassurance all the way. Winn rolled his eyes at her again but gave her a smile of his own. “I’m just scared. I can’t believe how long it’s been and I still feel...almost exactly the same way. But worse. Because I’m hoping all over again.”

Winn gave her a slightly reluctant, sheepish look. “Trust me...I get it. I mean, not in that I have a long lost family member who’s come back to town way, but...while I was soul crushed when you first told me you were gay, I definitely kept hoping that maybe something could change between us until you flat out told me you didn’t...feel that way.” 

“Winn,” Kara said softly. “I’m so glad you’re still here. And letting me talk about all this stuff with you.”

“Nah, it’s no big,” Winn muttered, scuffing the ground with his shoe. By the light blush grazing his cheeks, it wasn’t hard to tell that yes, it was a pretty big. “I love you regardless. I’d much rather still be around as a friend than not at all.”

“Not just any friend, Winn, my biffle,” Kara scoffed, pushing off from the wall and grinning this time.

“Oh, my bad that’s right,” Winn started to roll his eyes but Kara punched him before he had the chance. “Ow! Oh my god. Human here, remember??”

“Sorry,” Kara giggled, but stopped just as quickly as Alex appeared suddenly around the corner. Damn her lack of constant use of her supersonic hearing why did she stop that all those years ago again…?!

“Hey! There you are!” Alex’s face burst into a smile when she saw Kara. Kara felt herself blush again (why did it never stooopppp) as she tried to control the nervous grin overtaking her face.

“Hey, are you Alex?” Winn asked, sticking out his hand. “I’m Winn. I’ve heard SO much about you-”

“Hey!!” Kara burst out loudly over Winn, reaching out to touch Alex’s shoulder and draw her attention away from Winn. It appeared it may have been too late as Alex was cocking her head slightly to the side, whether from confusion or something else - but she immediately turned away from Winn and made eye contact with Kara as soon as Kara’s hand made contact with her.

“You ready?” Alex asked quietly as Kara pulled back immediately, palms starting to get sweaty and internally cursing herself for being overly zealous as always. She nodded, eyes bugging out at Winn from behind Alex as she turned with a “Nice to meet you, Winn.” 

“See you later!” Winn said as he gave Kara a double thumbs up once Alex’s back was turned. She wants you, he mouthed at her, and it was all Kara could do not to freeze him on the spot. 

Alex turned to touch Kara’s arm lightly to guide her in the direction they were going, even though it was unnecessary as Kara was already walking that way. “I’m really glad we’re doing this.”

“Me too,” Kara managed to get out, her heart racing. 

Thank god she was the one with superpowers, Kara thought frantically. At least she maybe appeared to be calmer than she actually was…

Immediately following their turn around the corner, a freshman boy with too many books careened around the corner and directly into Kara, who in the process of stopping herself from catching all of them super speedily managed to toss them in all directions and then trip over the boy's foot.

Of course. What was calm, anyway, when you may have superpowers but are the clumsiest person on earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhh I'm so so sorry this took so long. I'm not super pleased with this chapter but feeling a little bit back in the writing groove, so hopefully will have some more exciting updates to come. thank you for reading!!


	4. Chapter 4

A literal nightmare. That was the only explanation Kara had for the unfortunate direction this afternoon had taken.

Shortly after the collision with the boy, they had made their way to seats in the cafe. Alex had ordered a grilled sandwich of some sort, and Kara had ordered a large hot chocolate and six chocolate chip cookies. Kara had manage to only flush slightly when Alex brought their orders over and noted Alex's gentle smirk at Kara's lunch decision. What, super embarrassing moments called for super orders of cookies – human normalities be damned.  

Everything seemed to be going okay – Alex had updated Kara a little on her life since she had moved away from Midvale, Kara had expanded on hers about staying there. Kara had just launched into a story about an overflowing laundry machine that (she was proud to say) had Alex laughing hysterically, when she a little too dramatically flung her arm out and sent her hot chocolate sloshing across the table...and right into Alex’s lap. 

“HOLY….hot chocolate,” Alex dropped her shriek to a yelp when it became clear the liquid was now lukewarm and no longer scalding.

WHY Rao why oh why oh why oh why

“ALEX oh my god I’m so sorry, I don’t even know how that happened - well yes I do I’m just a super huge klutz, here let me help you,” Kara rushed out, grabbing some napkins and starting to dab gently at where the hot chocolate had spilled.

 ….which obviously wasn’t as gentle as she’d tried to make it nor did she apparently consider the location of said hot chocolate, because suddenly she was very aware of how still Alex had become, and when she looked up she was looking into a very flushed face and an Alex who was distinctly avoiding eye contact with her.

“Oh - I, I’m so sorry, here, I’ll just - get you more napkins,” Kara’s face suddenly felt like it was roasting in her own person hell and she sped away from the table, not caring if it was a little too speedy for a normal human because JESUS KARA you can’t feel up people, especially people you just meet again and re-fall in love with, you may not know all of Earth’s customs still, but you know for sure that definitely isn’t one of them.

After depositing the napkins on the table, Kara mumbled an excuse about needing the restroom and dashed away, slipping her phone out of the way as she went and dialing Winn.

 

*****

 

Alex really tried to get a noise out when Kara dropped off the napkins and then ran, really she did, but she seriously was having trouble getting words out.

“God damn it, Danvers,” Alex hissed as she dropped her head into her hands once Kara was around the corner. “Pull yourself together.”

Suddenly, unbidden images of Kara feeling her up in others, less clothed ways scattered their way behind her eyelids, and it was all Alex could do to pull herself up from the table.

“Out of control, teenage boy,” she muttered to herself as she hurriedly wiped away what was now becoming a stain on her pants. “Kara is a HUMAN like anyone else who deserves to be treated as such and not just have you react to her like a -” 

Alex stopped herself suddenly. “Well, okay fine, NOT human, but alien/super girl whatever the point IS...”

Catching sight of a girl at a table adjacent to her staring at her with a mixture of concern and amusement, Alex finally cut off her conversation with herself and carefully sat back down. She pulled her phone out to glance and see if Kara had texted her, which she knew was unlikely. With a sigh, she dropped it back on the table with a slight clatter and tried not to fidget too much as she sat back to wait for Kara to return.

 

*****

 

“Winn, it’s a disaster!” Kara moaned into the phone. “Like, a literal disaster.” 

“I’m sure you’re overreacting, just a little don’t you think?” Winn’s voice came through sounding far away, and Kara thought she heart gunshots in the background.

“Are you even listening??” she replied, voice rising an octave higher. “I spilled on her, and then touched her...stuff...and--”

“Woah, hold the phone, you what?!” Winn’s voice was suddenly much more present through the speaker, and the gunshots stopped. “Kara, you - I thought we talked about the bases, and how they worked, and you made it sound like you understood so I thought we went over it enough but maybe we should’ve used those flashcards I suggested after all??”

“Oh my - Winn, no I was helping her wipe her pants off after I spilled on them, but as usual I’m super oblivious to humans and how sensitive their skin is and then she just looked really uncomfortable and I don’t know what to do!” Kara hissed, fidgeting with her glasses with the hand not holding the phone as a professor walked by, looking slightly concerned at her distraught state in the corner by the trashcans. She turned away from the hallway and squeezed her eyes shut. “What do I do? How do I fix this?” 

“Well, okay, take a deep breath okay, it’s gonna be okay Kara,” Winn could hear the panic in his best friend’s voice and tried to think quickly. “It doesn't necessarily mean something bad that she reacted the way she did. Did she say anything before you - presumably - ran off?”

“No. Her face got all red like she was embarrassed, which, obviously because we were in the middle of a cafe and I was - you know - and she wouldn’t look at me,” Kara mumbled.

“...Kara, do you know what it means - what it feels like to be...embarrassed in a good way?” Winn asked, slapping her face with his free hand at the description of what he was trying to convey.

“...um, no?” Kara answered, cocking her head slightly and holding the back of her hand to her face to cool off the warm skin. “I don’t know that emotion. What’s it called?”

“Well…” Winn hesitated, his own face starting to heat up at the thought of trying to explain this to Kara. “It’s not an emotion exactly. It’s more of...a reaction. To something that’s happening, or to someone. It’s a...physical...reaction.”

Kara frowned. “Winn, you’re going to have to put these pieces together for me.”

Winn groaned quietly to himself. “It’s...you know those dreams you were asking me about.”

Kara flushed. “Yes.” 

“It’s sort of...like that.”

“Like sex?” Kara was becoming more confused by the minute.

“Yes...I mean no! It’s not...it’s the feeling you get, when you want to do stuff like have sex. When you get hot, and uncomfortable but in a way that sort of feels good at the same time.”

“Oh.” Kara went silent. “Like...when I see someone I like, like Alex, and then my face feels all warm but it’s not because I’ve spilled something that particular time?”

Winn silently thanked anyone who was out there listening that this conversation had come to a close. “Yeah. Exactly like that.”

“So…” Kara scrunched her nose up in concentration. “No. Wait. You mean maybe she liked…??”

“Yes, Kara dear, that is exactly what I’m saying,” Winn drawled, hitting un-pause on his game and blasting a Grunt into oblivion.

“Oh god,” Kara groaned, forgetting her composure completely and slamming a little more forcefully into the wall behind her than was humanly possible without injury. “Why is everything so complicated with girls on Earth?? Boys were so easy! They wanted to make out or they didn’t! On Krypton we didn’t even have these feelings, I don’t know what your Earth’s sun has done to me but I do not appreciate it it’s confusing, and weird and…”

“Kind of awesome?” Winn chuckled a another Grunt went down.

 “Ugggh Winn,” Kara grumbled, but she was starting to feel that (now identifiable) feeling of nervous but excited energy again. “It also may have been totally coincidental, and she has no interest in me at all...in that way.”

“Anything’s possible,” Winn called, his voice farther away again as he put Kara back on speaker phone to re-immerse himself in his game. “But unlikely. Text her! See if she wants to go on another date.”

Kara rolled her eyes. “We’re not even done with the first one!”

“What? How’re you on the phone with me then??” Winn asked incredulously as there was the sound of an explosion in the background.

“I told her I was going to the bathroom,” Kara replied dismissively, glancing down at her watch. “OH my god, that was almost twenty minutes ago.”

“Kara, I take it all back - you’re a mess,” Winn called back as Kara swiftly hung up the phone and walked ever so slightly above human power-walk speed to get back to Alex where she had left her.

 

*****

 

_Hey, did you leave…?_

It had been fifteen minute since Kara had left when Alex sent the text. After there was no response to her text five minutes after she sent it, Alex was typing, deleting and retyping what could only be described as word vomit.

_Hey, everything okay? I didn’t mean to turn bright red when…_

No no no no 

 _It wasn’t what you thought, I just lost my shit for a minute because I haven’t seen you in years and…._  

Oh my god no. 

 _Hey, I’m really sorry if I freaked you out when you were wiping off my crotch and…_  

OH MY GOD. NO. ALEX.

“Alex!”

 Wait, what?

“Alex! I’m so sorry, I got my shirt stuck on the door...thing and then I ran into a professor who had a question about...something, and, I’m just sorry, that took so much longer than I expected,” Kara came dashing around the corner, looking flustered and adorable as ever.

“Hey! No, I just thought maybe...you’d left, or something,” Alex finished lamely. _Be cool! Why was it so hard to be cool around her! You're wearing your leather jacket and everything…_

Kara’s face fell slightly, and she reached her hand out to place it on Alex’s resting on the table. “No! No way. I’m really sorry. I’m sorry I keep saying sorry! I’m not good at...this, and I just...missed you.”

Alex look up from where she’d been studiously focused on a bit of a straw wrapper on the floor. “Yeah?”

 “Yeah,” Kara smiled crookedly, still in a state of permanent blush around Alex. “I just wasn’t sure - it seemed like I made you uncomfortable and then I panicked that I’d ruined our date.” 

“...our date?” Alex’s lips turned into a half grin as Kara let go of Alex’s hand to slap hers against her face.

“I mean! Our...friendship date?” Kara scrambled, horrified with herself and not daring to take her hands away from her eyes, the words coming out muffled.

Alex reached out and gently used first one hand, and then the other to pry Kara’s hands away from her face.

“Kara.”

“Yes?” 

“Let’s go for a walk,” Alex suggesting, releasing Kara’s hands and reaching to grab what was left of her’s and Kara’s trash.

Kara nodded silently, hoping she would be let down easy and that maybe, hopefully, she and Alex could remain friends.

As Alex reached out to grab the plate that had been in front of Kara, Kara super-speed-snatched the half a cookie that was left.

 She was going to need all the sugar she could get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Un-beta'd! Hopefully I caught everything. I'm so sorry it's been so long, I never intend to take as long as I do. I think the next chapter will be the last, but there might be one more after that depending on how their walkandtalk goes! Let me know what you think!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, folks! The last one!

When they stepped outside, the air was cold.  Kara shivered and clutched her jacket more tightly around herself as she slowed her anxious walking to match the pace of Alex’s.

 

“So…” she started, glancing at Alex out of the corner of her eye and adjusting her glasses nervously.  

 

“So,” Alex laughed lightly, tipping her head back to look up at the cloudy sky.  There were a few other students walking across campus as well, but it was a off time in the afternoon so most people were still inside, in class or at lunch.

 

“I’m so sorry,” Kara rushed out, unable to help herself any longer.  “I just was so nervous, and so excited to spend time with you, and I’m just such a disaster in general, I -”

 

“Kara!” Alex laughed again, reaching out quickly to grab Kara’s hand that was still holding her jacket around herself.  Kara blushed and bit her lip, letting Alex pull them ever so slightly closer together.  

 

“Yeah?” Kara turned her head to make eye contact with Alex, who did but only for a moment before Alex giggled and looked away.  Kara could swear there was a blush too, this time.

 

“Kara...I wanted this to be a date,” Alex murmured, so softly and so far from what Kara knew her usual tone and attitude to be she momentarily was kicked into using her superhearing.  She could hear Alex’s heart rate pick up, ever so slightly, her breathing slightly more shallow.  When she looked over again, Alex reminded Kara so much of Alex that summer.  It was the Alex that Kara remembered from the blankets under the stars, when Kara made the petals fall around her childhood love, when they would fly together in secret.

 

“You...you did?” Kara stuttered.  “But...why?”

 

Alex stopped them where they were, under a tree and near a bench.  She wiped the lingering snow off the bench from when there had been a dusting earlier, then gestured for Kara to sit.

 

“What do you mean, why?” she said, more loudly this time, grounding Kara in being back to that bright and loud Alex she had always held onto.  Alex reached out and retook Kara’s hand, reveling internally when Kara didn’t pull away, only blushed again.  

 

“I just...you could have anyone,” Kara shrugged, smile pulling at her lips but not quite escaping.  She was nervous that this was all a dream, somehow.  For so long she had convinced herself that her twelve year old self was crazy, remembering things differently from how they had actually happened.  Alex had always been so cool in Kara eyes.  Kara had never seen those things in herself, the weird alien girl who never felt like she fit in no matter how hard she tried.

 

“Kara,” Alex said softly, squeezing Kara’s hand gently.  Kara squeezed back, holding on like a lifeline.  “I’ve always just wanted you.”

 

Kara choked on the breath she had just inhaled and puffed out a burst of cold superbreath when she tried to get herself together.  Alex laughed loudly, swiping lovingly at Kara’s face and Kara dodged it, giggling herself.

 

Well, at least she always could provide comic relief.

 

“When I met you that summer…I couldn’t believe you were real,” Alex shrugged, kicking her boots in the snow below her.  “You were an alien!”

 

It stung, for a moment, to have Alex call her that, with such wonder in her voice. Even though she was used to it, it still didn’t get better after all these years to be reminded of how different she was from everyone else.

 

“Hey,” Alex said, lifting her free hand to Kara’s cheek to touch it softly.  “That’s a good thing.”

 

Kara shrugged her shoulders noncommittally.  “Is it?  It feels so stupid, most of the time. I’m always embarrassing myself, just earlier today I shot a pencil into someone’s face by accident because I was nervous... who does that?? I mean - what?”  She stopped as Alex’s face morphed into one of caring reassurance into one of laughter.  

 

“Those things? Those “weird” things?  Those are the things I love most about you,” Alex laughed.  “I’ve always loved them.  I’ve also always been a nerd, but used to try to hide it so...I’m not sure I ever told you, but you being an alien? Was about the coolest thing I’d ever heard. Not just your powers, but your language, and how you came from a completely different place, the few things you told me about your culture...I wanted to learn everything about you, and Krypton.”  

 

Kara’s eyes almost bugged out of her head.  She’d always known Alex thought her powers were cool, but somehow...she hadn’t understood Alex truly loved that she a Kryptonian.  That she cared about and had been interested in the things that Kara still loved most in the universe...aside from her foster parents.  And Alex.

 

“Oh.  Well….I always thought...you were pretty cool yourself,” Kara mumbled, blushing and mentally slapping herself.  Oh my god Kara...she gives you a compliment like that and you give her “pretty cool??”

 

“You and your way with words,” Alex jokingly fanned at her face dramatically.  Kara burst out laughing, finally. For the first time since she had last seen Alex so many years ago, Kara felt like she really belonged somewhere.  Right here.  With messy, silly, beautiful Alex.

 

“Yeah, well,” Kara shoved Alex her version of gently, accidentally almost tipping Alex off the bench but pulling her back at the last second.  She shifted in her seat, letting the warmness spread over her.  One thing was still nagging at her, in spite of everything.  “Why didn’t you ever write me?”

 

Alex, who had been pretending to act annoyed at being shoved off her seat suddenly became serious.  She let go of Kara’s hand and turned to face her, quickly replacing her hand when Kara looked over, looking worried and very, very small.

 

“I’m sorry,” Alex replied, shrugging her shoulder closest to Kara gently.  “I just...I couldn’t do it. I was trying... to forget you.”

 

Kara stopped herself from jerking back, confusion all over her face.  “What?”

 

“Not like that!” Alex rushed on, but then shrugged again looking guilty.  “Maybe a little bit like that. I just...I came out. When we moved.  I was so scared, but was so excited that maybe starting middle school I could actually write you, and tell you how I felt, and even though we were so far away maybe we could be together anyway.”

 

“Alex,” Kara tried to cut in, her voice pained but Alex stopped her.  

 

“Hold on,” she responded, holding her hand up and willing herself to pull it together. “I.  I did. I came out, to my parents, who were wonderful...way more wonderful than I ever thought they would be.  But the kids at school...being the new kid, _and_ being gay...didn’t go very well.”

 

Alex struggled to remember those times without feeling immediately like running as far away from herself as possible.  How mean teenagers were. How ugly and pathetic and disgusting she felt. How hard it had been to keep missing Kara and feel like she was doing something wrong by missing her at the same time.

 

Alex shrugged again, on the verge of tears suddenly for the first time in so many years.  She wiped her face quickly and went on.  “They hated me.  So I changed. I stopped being gay, but that I meant...I had to stop thinking about you.”

 

She looked up then, expecting to see hurt in Kara’s eyes and to feel her pull away.  She didn’t expect to feel Kara’s tug on her hand and then being pulled into her arms.  

 

The hug felt warm, and full, and safe.  It was everything Alex had imagined it would be after all this time.

 

“I’m so sorry,” Kara whispered into Alex’s hair, her glasses askew slightly and digging into the side of Alex’s head. It just reminded Alex that this was all really happening. She played with a strand of Kara’s long, blond, slightly curled at the end hair and held her close.

 

“It’s okay,” Alex pulled away finally and sniffed once before smiling.  “ _I’m_ so sorry...that you ever thought I’d stopped caring about you.”

 

Kara smiled bashfully and leaned forward slowly, as if any sudden movement would change everything.  She pressed a kiss to Alex’s cheek and lingered for a moment before pulling away.

 

“Better than groping you, this time?” Kara giggled slightly as she pulled away, her face red again. Alex laughed as she felt her cheek growing warm from where Kara’s lips had been and spreading across her face.  Same old Kara, feeling uncomfortable and making a terrible joke to cover it up.

 

“Way better,” Alex grinned, and then took her hand away from Kara’s to hold both sides of Kara’s face gently.  “Can I…” she stopped her sentence, seeing the poorly hidden excitement and nervousness in Kara’s face.  “..yeah, okay.”

 

When Alex leaned forwards and pressed her lips to Kara’s, Kara couldn’t think.  She couldn’t breath, or move, or remember where she was.  It was only when Alex started to pull away in minor worry that Kara remembered where all her limbs were.

 

She grabbed Alex’s shoulders to hold her in place, letting go of one shoulder and bringing her hand up to the back of Alex’s head, turning her head and parting her lips ever so slightly so that she could feel even more. Alex gasped slightly, it turning into an almost sigh at being able to feel, and taste, and touch Kara like this for the first time. When Kara tried to pull her closer, impossibly close with their jackets and knees in the way, Alex finally pulled away and laughed, reaching over to brush Kara’s hair away from her face and looking into her dazed eyes.

 

“Yeah...yeah, okay,” Kara mumbled, echoing Alex’s earlier sentiment.  “Can we just...never stop doing that. Ever.”  Hey eyes widened again.  “Oh my god, why can’t I just never speak!”

 

“Don’t even think about it,” Alex murmured with a chuckle.  “You’re perfect this way.”

 

“Damn straight,” came a voice from behind them.  Winn was walking towards them across the lawn, pausing when he came within a few feet of the girls and looking thoughtful.  “Or, I guess not really at this point, huh…”

 

“Winn!” Kara wailed, letting her face fall into her hands for what felt like the tenth time that day.

 

“Hello, Winn,” Alex murmured with a smile, eyes narrowing ever so slightly.  She was going to have fun scaring the beejeezus out of this kid in the future.

 

“Hello my lady friends,” Winn breezed on, waving his hands in the direction of the library.  “Well, and now actual “lady friends.”” He chuckled to himself before darting to the side when Kara launched some snow at him.  “I just wanted to see if you wanted to study, perhaps? Or were you...busy.”

 

Alex stood up, holding out her hand for Kara to take.  “Sure, actually...I have a big bio test to study for.  I just need to run back to my room for my stuff...Kara?”

 

Kara had been busily studying Alex’s lips while she talked and quickly jerked back when she realized she’d been addressed.  “What? Study? Yeah, sure...what she said.”

 

Winn shook his head in dismay at his friend before starting to stride off towards the library.  “See you there in...half an hour?”

 

“Sure thing Winn,” Alex waved casually as she turned Kara away from the building and towards her dorm.  “Don’t wait up for us!”

 

“Wait, what?” Winn hollered back and they continued walking in opposite directions.  Alex smirked at Kara who turned beet red and ducked her head before looking up again and then almost pulling Alex along faster.  “It’s only...3!”

 

“Yes, my statement still stands!” Alex called and waved nonchalantly again as Kara’s speed picked up even more.  “Woah, buddy, I am not a superhuman, remember?”

 

“You can be today,” Kara replied as she ducked them behind the old theater building.  After glancing around to make sure no one was in sight, Kara held out her arms to Alex.  “Now, if you would kindly direct me to your dorm...I’ll have us there in a jiffy.”

 

Alex couldn’t contain her grin as she stepped into Kara’s space and Kara pressed her tightly to her front.  She laughed at Kara’s sharp intake of breath as their bodies came into contact, then wrapped her arms around Kara’s back.  “I can’t wait.”

 

With that, Kara burst into the air, flying high enough to be only a speck from the ground while still close enough to be safe for Alex.  Alex smiled, eyes wide in wonder at flying once again with very own supergirl - and this time, they were going in the same direction.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the ride! I feel good about this ending, so I'm sorry it took so long but am glad I got it right!!
> 
> Let me know if there's anything else you'd like to see me write! I'm considering doing a ficlet collection like I see a lot of people doing, but I'm not super punctual so I'd have to figure out a schedule...throw your thoughts at me! (gently, no superstrength plz :) )

**Author's Note:**

> un-beta'd. Would love to get some love. Or just like. To get some general feedback, lovely that would be.


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